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Sunday, February 1, 2015

Mommy's Bestfriend

When I first found out that I was going to be a mom, the thoughts were instantly racing through my head.  Will I have a boy or a girl?  What if I don't have "that bond" with my baby?  Will I be a good mom?  What even defines a good mom?  What if something bad happens to my baby?  I can honestly admit that I was a wreck at first, but once everything started happening I was instantly ok with everything.  I knew that no matter what, I would get through it and do the best of my ability.  I was going to give my baby the best life that I could.

I soon found out that I was having a little boy, and at first I started to worry again.  What if our little man likes his daddy more than me?  What about his girlfriends? No, He will never have a girlfriend if I have anything to do with it!  Again, what if we don't develop "that bond" that everyone talks about? I shooed away the worries once again, and looked forward to meeting him.  I knew that we would make it through whatever challenges we would face, and I would always be his mommy.

The moment came when I finally got to meet the little boy that I had been carrying around with me for the past 39 weeks.  I was full of emotions and doubts once again!  Will I be a good mom?  What if he doesn't like me?  What if I'm not cut out to be a mom?  After 18 hours of labor, I was finally able to push those fears, doubts and crazy emotions aside.  The moment I looked into my little boys eyes changed everything forever.  I was instantly full of overwhelming happiness and love.  I knew right then and there that we were going to be the best of friends.

As the days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, our bond only got stronger.  I can't imagine ever leaving him for more than one night.  I carried this handsome little man around with me everyday for a very long 39 weeks, and I am just so attached.  I always find myself snuggling with him every chance that I get, holding his little hand while he sleeps, kissing his forehead when he is upset or looking into his gorgeous brown eyes and just melting all over again.  Just like the day I got to look into his eyes for the first time.  He is my little boy, and he will always be my little boy regardless of how much he grows.

Our bond continues to grow stronger each and every day, and I am happy to say that he is a mamas boy.  Some would get annoyed by their baby fussing when they walk away for a few minutes,  I see it as my son needing a little extra love from his mama.  Some would get frustrated not being able to put their little one down for a nap by themselves,  but I look at it as some extra snuggle time that should never be taken for granted.  He will only want to snuggle with his mama for so long before it is "embarrassing."  I don't mind getting all the snuggles in that I can now before I am looking back wondering when I'll get to hold my little man again.

I have one of the sweetest little boys in the world, his name is Kane.  He has forever changed me into the biggest softy the world has ever seen.  All it takes is one sweet little glance, and I'm instantly wrapped around every one of his ten little fingers!  He has beautiful brown eyes that I constantly get lost in, they are a perfect mix of his daddy's dark brown and my light brown eyes.  When I look into them,  I am instantly at peace with the world.  I am the happiest that I have ever been.  Becoming a mommy has been the greatest gift that I could ever be given, it has made me into the best version of myself.  I have the most perfect best friend in the entire world, and no matter what he always does the right thing just being himself.  When I'm not having the best of days, he just knows to give lots of snuggles and "kisses."  When I'm happy, he is right there with me giggling and smiling.  He keeps all of my secrets.  He has my heart, after all, he is the only one that knows what my heartbeat sounds like from the inside.

I could continue going on for a million years about the bond that we share, and how grateful I am to be a mother to the most perfect little boy in the world.  I just love my little man so much!

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