It all started during the Summer of 2011. I was 17 years old and dating some total douche bag. We were invited to a 4th of July BBQ by friend of ours at the time. That's when I first met Joshua. He definitely caught my eye. Being the honest and loyal person that I am, I just said hi briefly and kept my distance. I found out later on that he had actually been checking me out the entire time, specifically making the comment "damn, look at that ass!" We still laugh about it to this day, despite the fact that my "ass" isn't so fabulous anymore! 

Fast forward a few months to the Fall of 2011 and break up with the loser I had been dating. My group of friends had planned a mini road trip to visit a friend for his 21st birthday! Joshua drove us all up to St. Cloud, Minnesota. He ended up getting super drunk, along with everyone else & the party we were at got busted. I hadn't been drinking that night due to a massive hangover from the night before, so I had to drive everyone back home. We got back around 4 in the morning, so we spent the night at a friend's house. Joshua and I had to share a futon, and I woke up in the middle of the night to him snuggling me. I didn't mind, so I just went back to sleep! Josh was actually my friends "step brother." At the time, his dad was dating her mom. Needless to say, she was not very happy about us getting close. When we woke up in the morning, everyone make a huge deal over us cuddling, so naturally I pretended that I had no idea what he was doing and that I wanted nothing to do with it! He was so dumbfounded that I put all the blame on him, we both still laugh about it! 

A week or two later, Joshua came to visit me at my apartment in Mankato, Minnesota. I was living with the loser ex boyfriend and his friends at the time, but I had my own room. I was still a senior in high school but was doing Post Secondary Education. I was supposed to be living in the dorms, but found out last minute that they don't allow anyone under 18 to live on campus. I had to find a place to live last minute and ended up having to either live in the same apartment with the guy I was dating at the time or living 100% on my own. Joshua took me out to dinner & a movie and then spent the night! He was too nervous to cuddle with me again, so we slept awkwardly apart in the same bed. We talked on and off until December, but I ended up getting back together with the guy I had been dating before. We remained friends, best friends, but we always had that tension between us.


Jump ahead to New Years Eve 2012. I was still with the loser ex boyfriend. We decided to party with my friends, and Joshua was there. My boyfriend at the time got extremely drunk, and I ended up having to leave and take care of him. Joshua asked him if I could be his New Years kiss & he was so drunk that he agreed to it. Again, I was loyal so it never happened. I don't even know what I was thinking! I was with a guy who was just so terrible towards me while this other guy that I hurt still wanted to be with me more than anything. I was such an idiot. 

At the end of Fall Semester, I ended up moving out of the apartment I had been living in to live in my own apartment. Nothing ever changed, I still fought with the guy I had been dating constantly, and our relationship was terrible. Joshua and I ultimately stopped talking, and he ended up dating a new girl! Funny story, Josh was actually dating my loser ex boyfriend's ex girlfriend of many years. Talk about sharing the love! 

I graduated from high school the Summer of 2012. I moved home from Mankato for the summer, and ended up ending things with the guy I had been dating. I soon after found out that he had cheated on me. Not just once, but through the entire off and on year long relationship! I had suspicions of it, but could never confirm it. I ended up becoming friends with Josh's girlfriend after we had been feuding for the past year. Her and Joshua ended their relationship that summer as well, but she made me promise not to be with him or it would end our friendship. 

In the middle of July, Joshua and I started to get close again, and started hanging out more often. We swore that we were only friends, at first. He started wanting to take me on double dates with his other friends, which lead to spending every day together and ultimately hooking up. We were never actually together. In August, I was starting to get ready to go back to school. There were a few end of the summer parties that I came back home from college for. Joshua had 2 parties that I remember vividly, they were 2 days in a row. The first party he completely blew me off for other girls, and I ended up leaving to go get drunk with other friends because I was super upset. The next night I ended up playing "the mom" of the party. I took care of everyone, made sure the house didn't get destroyed, made sure nobody stole anything, and let people in and out of the gate. Needless to say, Joshua was with another girl the during that time and I had no idea until after the fact. He ended up sleeping next to me that night, but I wanted nothing to do with it. After he fell asleep, I got up and started cleaning up the house.  

I kept hope in our relationship. I would come back from college  Thursday to Sunday when I didn't have classes. We spent every day together that I was back from school. He asked me to be his date for his Senior Homecoming, and I agreed. After that things started getting pretty rocky. I found out my best friend at the time hooked up with Joshua and it was a deal breaker for me. I think I was more hurt by her going behind my back than I was that he did. I just never expected her to go behind my back the way that she did. We stopped talking and ended up going our separate ways. Towards the end of Fall Semester 2012, I decided that college wasn't the right choice for me. My plan was to move home for Spring Semester and the Summer to work. I was going to move back down to college with my friends the following Fall Semester to attend Beauty School. 

Once I moved home in December 2012, Joshua and I started hanging out again. He had been seeing another girl, so we were only friends, at first. Things started getting flirty between us, but we never really talked about anything between us.


On New Years Eve 2013, he ended up kissing the girl he had been seeing in front of me. I lost it and was ready to leave. Our close friend at the time talked me into talking to him about things before I left. He had gone to bed with someone else, but we found him, and I pulled him aside. We talked for over an hour. There was a lot of emotions, hurt feeling and tears going around. He wanted to talk about everything more the next day, so he was going to go back to bed and I was going to go home. I ended up getting into a fight before I left, so instead of sending me home, he left with me. He spent the night, and we became inseparable. We ended up working through everything and started officially dating 12 days later.


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